Keeping Company

As common it’s use today though it finds its origin in the 14th century, the old

proverbial phrase, “misery loves company” has no place in leadership vernacular.

Originally, this phrase had a connective quality relative to one’s ability to provide

quality care to a person suffering miserable circumstances because the one providing

the care had been through similar circumstances. People having “been there and done

that” possess the ability to commiserate and relate empathetically (care). As well

intended the original use of this phrase, its current meaning and usage is at the

opposite end of the spectrum.

Now a days, the idea of “misery loves company” means that if you are miserable,

make everyone within your scope of influence as miserable as you are or perhaps even

more so. Leaders that live by this phrase also die by its use. I call this the “Misery

Effect” (ME, what an acronym). Whenever the ME is in play one’s ability to lead goes

away. Miserable leaders make people miserable, plain and simple!

Authentic leaders know that they will have to endure plenty of miserable days but

also know that they don’t have to make everyone else miserable, as well. Miserable

seasons are most often not a choice, but how one responds to the season is. An Ex-

Marine said it best, “Life is ten percent what happens to me, and ninety percent how I

respond to what happens.” As an Army guy, that was one of the smartest statements I

heard coming from the mouth of a Marine (Military people will get that joke).

How one responds to miserable seasons is really a matter of attitude. Victor

Frankl spoke words to this effect while incarcerated in a Nazi POW camp, when he

decided that the one thing the Nazi’s could not take from him was his choice of attitude.

He owned control over his attitude and response to whatever misery he endured.

Leaders possess the same choice, choose wisely, because your attitude will determine

whether you last or blast as a leader.