Bassackwards

Yes, it is a word, and more specifically a “euphemistic spoonerism,” dating back

to the mid-1800s with some attributing its first use to Abraham Lincoln. Who knew, or

maybe some of you are saying, “who cares?” Legitimate question, but humor me

because it fits in this context.

It is also important to note that British Anthropologist, John Lubbock is historically

attributed with making this statement, “What we see depends mainly on what we look

for.” I learned about him in one of my college psychology classes, and his quote stuck

with me. I need to tell you this as well because it informs you about what comes next.

So, today while driving through a small town, I passed one of their small

churches with a rather large information/announcement sign out front that read, “Don’t

let all of the ugly in others, kill all of the beauty in you!” I think the perspective of that

saying, though nice, is “bassackwards.”

Now at first glance the sign is an attention getter that makes one think of the

beauty in themselves. Narcissist would feed on such accolades, and solidify their

mindset causing them to reaffirm that, “everyone else is, or has, the ugly problem, not

me!” Self-deprecators or loathers would say, “see everyone else is beautiful, not ugly

me!” Wise people would say, “you see what you look for in yourself or in others!” The

sign should read, “let all of the beauty and ugly in others, inform all of beauty and ugly in

you!” In other words, learn what right and wrong looks like from others and transform

yourself.

Truth be told, we all possess good and bad traits (dispositions) or behaviors

(actions). Remember traits are internal to the person possessing them, but behaviors

while they may be informed by one’s traits, good and ugly, are more often than not

externally motivated which leads me to my point. If a leader is looking for the ugly in

others to make them feel good about their own beauty, they are definitely going to have

an ugly day because ugly is all they will see.

Again, you tend to see what you look for, and if a leader looks for “ugly”

externally they feed their ugly thoughts internally and their behaviors will match and

reflect all that’s ugly, no matter how good things may be. Better to let the good and ugly

in others teach you, the leader, about the good and ugly in yourself. Then choose to

advance the beauty in you and others, while arresting the ugly in yourself and others.

This action helps curb the leader’s blind spots, quell their poor responses, and quicken

their leadership success.

Here's a thought, “Correct perspectives compliment correct actions.” What’s your

perspective?